The Feedback Sandwich: How to Bury One Useful Sentence Between Two Compliments Nobody Believes

Management tip from me to you: the feedback sandwich. You take one piece of difficult feedback and you surround it with two compliments, like a sandwich, so it goes down easy. I use it constantly. My team can sense one coming from across the building and they brace like a storm is rolling in.

The recipe

Top slice: a warm, slightly generic compliment. 'You're such a team player.' The filling: the actual thing, delivered as fast and as quietly as humanly possible. 'The report was three weeks late and we lost the client.' Bottom slice: another compliment, to end on a high note. 'Love your energy!' Serve, and flee the scene.

The part where they only hear the bread

Here's the flaw I have chosen not to think about: people remember the bread. They walk out going 'Chad said I'm a great team player with great energy!' and the small matter of the lost client evaporates somewhere between the two compliments. Then I'm genuinely baffled, at review time, that the behavior never changed. A mystery for the ages.

Why I'll keep doing it anyway

I could just... say the real thing kindly, clearly, and directly, and then stop talking. People who've tried this tell me it works far better — the feedback actually lands, the person can act on it, nobody's decoding a sandwich. But that requires sitting in the discomfort for a full four seconds without reaching for a compliment to soften it, and I, personally, cannot do that. So: sandwich it is.

In conclusion, you are all such great team players, several of you are missing every deadline, and I love your energy. That's a sandwich. Per my last email. 🤵